Author's note: I know this is a short chapter. I'm just getting back into the rythem of things. Enjoy!
"I'll think about it." Pierre said, hanging up. David watched him cautiously, waiting to find out how the phone call had gone. Pierre took a deep breath. He definitely had a lot to think about. He stared at the ground for a good five minutes before he shifted his gaze and realized David was waiting patiently for information.
"She wants to meet me alone. Tomorrow." Pierre said simply. David took a deep breath in feeling the cool air slide through his chest and into his lungs;
"Do you want to talk about it?" David offered. He really didn't know what else to say. This was Pierre's battle and he could be there to help him and hold his hand along the way, but he couldn't fight it for him.
"I don't know. I mean, I really don't want to see her. I don't have any good feelings towards her anymore, but..." Pierre sighed and looked down at his lap and David closed his eyes in realization.
"Pierre, if that's true, then don't do it. Don't do it for me. This should be your decision. But you should know that no matter what you choose, I can't stay here with you. I'm going to go back to my parents."
"You should. You should be with your parents. That's exactly where you should be. You don't belong here, in this world, with me. You should go." Pierre stood up, keeping his eyes glued to the ground.
"David, please. I won't be responsible for ruining your life." He said. It amazed Pierre his voice didn't catch, as he walked away with tears streaming his face. David sat in shock and watched him go. Neither of them had a full understanding of what they'd just done. It felt right and it felt wrong to both of them. Pierre wandered, David sat, lost, and neither of them knew where they belonged in the world.
The sun was setting and David still sitting on the park bench staring at nothing. He still couldn't put the pieces together in his mind. How could Pierre be... gone? He couldn't believe that one boy could mean so much to him, so soon. He looked up to the sky, red with the sun going in, and it hit him. Pierre was gone. Pierre had left him. Pierre had... Pierre had left him.
David jumped frantically off the bench and ran in the direction that Pierre had gone, hours ago. He ran until he was out of the park and on the streets and then he started yelling.
"PIERRE!" "PIEEEERRE!" The tears came soon and he staggered across town, yelling and crying. Many people he passed looked at him funny, or whispered. He heard one girl telling her friend to look at the 'crazy drunk kid.' but he wasn't drunk. He was desperate. He needed Pierre.
Pierre didn't know where to go. He'd been wandering aimlessly on the streets since he'd left David that afternoon. He didn't want to go back to Sebastien's house but he couldn't make himself go back home. Jeff's maybe, but he was tired of being a guest. He was tired of not having a place to go. He was tired of turning peoples lives upside down. He was just really, really, tired. And he was dying without David. Sure it had only been a few hours, but how long could he go on like this? He loved David. He sighed out loud. He loved David, and that was exactly why he had to stay away. For a minute, Pierre thought he heard David's voice calling out his name. He really was going crazy without him...
David finally slid into an alley, putting his back against the wall, and slid to the ground. "Pie-e-eeere..." He sobbed quietly, defeated. He would never find Pierre in this town, and even if he did, that didn't mean Pierre would stay with him. Pierre had left, and he wasn't coming back.
Pierre finally stopped walking and sat down a vacant bus bench. He felt a tear run down his cheek, but wiped it away quickly. He was doing this for David, he was doing what was best for him. David would go home and reconcile with his parents and move on, find someone new. Someone who could be more for him than Pierre ever could. But that didn't make it stop hurting right now...
Pierre's phone buzzed in his pocket and for a second, he thought about ignoring it. But it could be Sebastien, and he was probably worried...
He looked at the screen, and after only a moment's hesitation, answered.
"Whatsup?" He said automatically.
"You tell me. I've been warning you for four years Pierre, and you didn't listen. Now I'm the one who has to clean up the mess." He said angrily. Pierre had to admit he did feel a little guilty, but he was the one who'd left! He should be the one feeling guilty, not Pierre.
"I don't have to listen to you anymore, you don't control me. We haven't spoken in months and I'm not about to change that now." Pierre said, surprising himself with how confident he felt, being as in reality, he was shaking like the captain of the titanic.
"Pie-" Pierre panicked as the voice on the other end of the phone kept talking, and hung up. Soon he felt his whole body shuddering uncontrollably with everything going on at the moment and he bowed his head and felt the sobs break into his breath as his tears began to slowly soak the sidewalk... and it started to rain.
Pierre and David sat, both, and felt the rain slick down their hair and soak their clothing and faces, and the cried. They cried for each other, they cried for their losses, they cried for their friends, their families, and their lives.
Sebastien lay on his back on his bed, tossing a basketball in the air and catching it before it hit his face. He didn't cry that afternoon. He knew he had to be stable. Besides David and Pierre, he was really the only stable one around and they didn't even count because they were guests. Pierre and David. Sebastien didn't even have time to think about it. He'd always known Pierre was gay but knowing was a totally different thing than really seeing it. As far as he knew, this was Pierre's first boyfriend. Seb was happy for them. Someone deserved a little happiness in their lives. Seb shrugged. He wasn't too worried about them. If anything, maybe they'd get tired of being in the nut house and went home to their own families. "OW" Seb said out loud, jolting upright, as blood fled from his nose. He picked up the basketball and chucked it against the door, leaving a dent in the wood. Of course, it wasn't the ball's fault he'd forgot to catch it... but he couldn't handle taking on even that little burden right now or he might crash. Anyway, what mattered now was that for the time being, Angie was safe, David and Pierre were safe, and he was safe. So how could he really complain?
David tilted his neck and felt his head rest on the cold hard bricks of the alley wall. He took a deep breath and felt the cool air rush freely into his lungs as the rain washed away the emotion from the surface of his skin. Pierre was gone and David knew in his heart that there was no bringing him back. At least not now, not tonight. Pierre needed time, and David would give it to him. So he pulled himself up off the ground, and wiped his eyes. Because he wouldn't cry. Because he and Pierre would be together again. He would fight for it until the day he died. So he zipped up his hoodie further, and started walking towards his parent's house.
It took him a good 45 minutes to get there, being as how he wasn't even sure where he'd ended up in his search for the man who had left him, but soon enough he was standing on the front steps of the house that he still couldn't bring himself to think of as anything else but home. And he rang the doorbell.
Pierre wanted to be with David more than anything. But he knew he couldn't. David was probably already starting to move on from Pierre and soon he could live a happy, healthy life without him, the way it should be. So he swallowed his pride and started walking down the street towards his parents' house, because who needs dignity when you've lost the person you love. Not 15 minutes later, he was there. Standing on the front porch of the house that looked so familiar, but still, no matter how hard he tried, could not raise any emotion within him, and would never, even if it was where he lived, be his home again. But still, he rang the doorbell.
"David, you're our son, and we love you..." His mother started as she sat on the couch across from him. "But I'm worried. You latched on to that... that person, so quickly, so... so fiercely. I know now that you were just confused, and that's why you have left him to come home, but this confusion could cause you to become overwhelmed, and well... I just think... you know... when a person becomes overwhelmed with emotions, they can break down, and when you... well... I just don't..." David felt his mouth drop open slightly as his eyes narrowed.
"Mom, stop. I know exactly what you're trying to say so don't bother saying it. You're wrong. I'm not confused. I am gay and I love Pierre. I love him more than I've ever loved anything and we will be together again. I love him. I'm not confused and even if I was, that doesn't mean I'm going to relapse!" David felt anger bubbling to the surface as he jumped to his feet. If there was one thing he couldn't take it was people treating him like he was broken. It's called recovery for a reason. He looked into the face of the woman that was supposed to be there to provide comfort, and saw only narrow-minded bigotry. "You know what mom? I think it's time you learned a thing or two about life. SO YOU'RE SCARED IS THAT IT?! You scared mom? Scared your son's gonna lock himself in the bathroom, puking up his dinner or making out with his BOYFRIEND? WELL YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT IF THOSE THINGS MAKE YOU A FAILURE AS A MOTHER THAN CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE A FAILURE. But I am still your son. So I'll be here. I'll be in my room when you're ready to open your eyes." And with that, David stormed to his room, leaving his parents in a whirlwind of confusion and anger.
David slammed the door and fell back onto his bed, swinging his feet up. He wasn't going to cry. Not for them. If he was going to cry for someone, it would be Pierre and he and Pierre weren't over so there was no reason to cry. Now he could only feel anger, and... something else. Through the anger, he felt something, almost... desire. A strong pull in his throat that he hadn't felt in a very long time. One that could not be condensed, or controlled, only satisfied. Like an itch you just can't scratch. And he knew it was over. Everything he'd worked for, gone. Down the drain, no pun intended. And he made his way to his little sound proof bathroom off the side of his room. After the conversation he'd just had with his parents, David didn't feel safe. Or private. So, just to cover his tracks, he turned on the water to create the illusion he was having a shower, one of many tricks he knew all too well. And then he slid to the floor in front of the all too familiar, perfect porcelain bowl... and emptied his fears, his cares, his worries. His fingers drew out the sludge of his relationship problems with Pierre, of his worries about how people would react to his being gay, of his fears for the little girl he'd just met at Sebastien's, at everything circling any thoughts of his parents, he let it all spill out of him. And then he flushed, wiped, and went back to his room, falling easily once again into the routine. Like he'd never stopped at all.
He walked into his room, and looked into the mirror above his desk, and saw all the things he did before. And he wondered how he ever could have been so stupid as to believe them when they told him he looked "fine." He was disgusting. He saw skin spilling out of areas where skin shouldn't be, and he hated it. He would get rid of it at all costs, and then he could stop again. This wasn't a relapse, just a... a solution. He knew from his last doctor's visit that he currently weighed 135 pounds. He just needed to lose... maybe 50 pounds. And then he would be okay again. Then Pierre would take him back. No wonder Pierre left him, if this is how he's been looking lately. He was a whale. But just 50 pounds would do it. He would get Pierre back. And his parents wouldn't care, they would love him again. They would be happy to have a thin, okay looking son. He would be worth it.
Idk I'm really upset.
But it's gonna be kinda longer now because I have to rewrite everything and I have no idea what I even had written.
So... sorry for the delay, it'll be up asap<3
"Mom, we shouldn't be doing this!" Seb hissed, careful not to let Angie hear, who was in her room getting ready for what she'd thought was a doctor's appointment.
"Well you know what Sebastien, you really have no say in this. My mind is made up." She replied defiantly. Pierre rolled his eyes and turned to go back to Seb's room where David was. He'd heard this argument enough times since the night before to know that there was nothing he could do to stop it. The voices faded as he walked down the hall.
"You're killing a part of her without her even knowing it exists!"
"She is a CHILD! She shouldn't have this so called, part, to begin with!" Pierre shut the bedroom door and sighed, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed.
"They at it again?" David asked, capping his eyeliner and shoving it into the pouch in his backpack before moving to sit beside Pierre.
"Yeah..." Pierre said distantly. David looked curiously at him
"What do you think?" He asked, and though the question was vague, Pierre knew exactly what he meant.
"I don't know... I mean, I guess Liz has a right to be concerned, but this is... well, kind of extreme, you know? Like, Angie's young, and it would be complicated but she deserves to have a choice. They're manipulating her. You know she convinced the abortionist to pretend Angie was there for some special checkup that require her to be asleep. They're going to drug her! And she's going to walk through life not ever knowing that she had a child and she doesn't even have a choice!" Pierre's voice broke off and tears rolled down his cheeks as he released everything he'd been thinking about the situation. It wasn't ideal having all of this to worry about, considering he was going through a lot on his own at the moment with David and their parents and everything. And then the tears kept coming, with sobs, as he thought about everything the last week had brought upon him. He let himself be wrapped in David's arms as he sobbed, bent over, into his chest, feeling the smaller boy's chin rest against the top of his head. If there was ever a time in his life where he could say he was at an all time low, this was it. It hurt... everything hurt.
"SEBASTIEN IT'S OVER. WE'RE LEAVING. DAVID, PIERRE, ANGIE." A loud voice yelled. Pierre reluctantly lifted his head from David and even though he felt like crying for days, he did what he'd always done and what he knew he had to do; be strong for everyone else. He started wiping his tears and felt a hand on one of his eyes, wiping them too. He gave David a weak smile.
"You don't have to go through everything alone Pierre. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." David said and he wrapped Pierre into one last hug, and a short kiss, before they went out the door like nothing had happened at all.
When they got they got to the clinic, the tension rose as Angie hopped out of the car, looked at the sign, and looked up at Pierre who was standing next to her.
"What's an abortion?" She asked. Pierre's heart clenched and he panicked. What was he supposed to say?
Liz piped up. "Um, honey, that's just a fancy word for checkup." She said smiling assurance. Angie shrugged and skipped along to the door.
Pierre's hands were shaking ever so slightly as he looked at David who gave him a reassuring nod, then over to Sebastien who had tears pouring down his face.
Pierre put his hand on his friend's back and nodded as they made their way toward the door.
"Why are you crying Sebby?" Asked Angie when they finally caught up with him.
"Sebastien just tripped and hurt his hand, let's go inside." Stepped in Liz. Pierre looked at the woman and for the first time in his life, he saw something different in her. Ice.
Angie walked over to Seb and picked up his hand, kissing his palm tenderly. She smiled up at her brother. "It's okay Sebby." She said. Sebastien nodded and tried to smile back but tears kept pouring down his face.
"Angela, I said go inside!" Liz said, her voice becoming harsh and rough.
Angie turned and led them all in to a room that looked like a hospital waiting room, but also kind of like the living room of a crack addict. The walls were painted a thick dark yellow and there were chairs along one wall with a stack of magazines. There was a big round counter in the middle with a woman behind it on a computer. The entire atmosphere reaked of death and it felt cold.
"Go sit over there." She said, dismissing the group and walking up to the front desk. She tried to keep her voice low, but it didn't work, they all heard the conversation perfectly... including Angie.
"Hi, I'm here with my daughter, we have an appointment with Doctor Howard." She said, flashing the woman behind the desk a big fake smile.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor Howard is no longer with us, we had to let him go. However, Doctor Lawson has replaced him. He's an excellent doctor, and he's on duty now, I'm sure he'd be happy to take you at any time let me just c-" The woman started to pick up the phone, when Liz cut her off.
"No, you don't understand," She started, looking at the woman's name tag, "Amelia. It simply MUST be Doctor Howard. We spoke on the phone just yesterday and we have made-" This time it was Liz who got cut off. Amelia looked pissed. And her tone reflected it.
"Yes well I'm sorry, Doctor Howard had been making promises to clients that compromised the morals of the clinic and therefore we had to let him go. He is currently unemployed so there really is no chance of him performing any abortions at the moment so if you'd like to kill your daughter's baby, then I suggest you talk to Doctor Lawson or go elsewhere. Thanks." She said, and as if knowing Liz would not be talking to Doctor Lawson, turned her office chair and gave her attention to some paper work she had at another part of the round counter.
Liz turned and stalked slowly back to the row of chairs, blank expression on her face, looking stunned. Pierre was a little stunned himself. As if the woman just said that. Was she allowed to do that? Talk about morals. He flicked his eyes down next to him to Angie, who looked scared and confused.
"We're leaving." Liz said simply and she walked smoothly out of the waiting room. Sebastien, Angie, Pierre, and David all looked at each other and reluctanlty rose from their chairs and followed.
During the drive home, Angie asked questions. Or at least tried to. Every time she would try and get a word out, Liz would silence her, promising repeatedly they would talk at home. At some point unkown to Pierre, she started crying and just stared out the window. When they got back to the hous, Liz sent Angie to her room and brought Seb to the dining room. Pierre and David followed, too deep into the mess to want to miss anything. They all sat at the table and looked wearily to Liz for guidance.
She took a deep breath. "Obviously that didn't work. I suppose you'll be happy to get your way..." She said. She kept her eyes trained on the table, fingers looped together. She avoided eye contact but they all knew she was addressing Seb. "So we tell her. I don't know how, I'll just have to improvise. If any of you have any grand ideas, speak now." She said, finally lifting her eyes. She dug her eyes into Pierre, daring him to say anything, followed by David who became visibly afraid, then Sebastien who just shook his head in a look of disgust and looked away.
"Then it's settled." She said, rising from her chair.
She glided from the room and before Pierre even had a chance to gather his thoughts, she was back in her seat, Angie in the spare one. Was it everything that had gone on with the man she thought she'd loved? Pierre didn't know. But somehow, Liz had quickly become a monster. She looked at Angie who looked scared and confused.
"Angela," She started, boring into the girl, voice cold and emotionless. "Do you know what it means to be pregnant?"
Angie's face when from scared to terrified as she slowly nodded her head.
"Well that's what you are. You're having a baby. If you have any questions, ask your brother." She said coldly and stood, stalking out of the room stopping for the two large bottles of vodka in the kitchen and heading to her room. Angela’s eyes widened and she looked like she wanted to cry, but much to Pierre’s surprise, she held it together.
When they got in the kitchen, Sebastien was struggling to answer a question they didn’t hear. Eventually, he settled for saying he didn’t know as Pierre and David sat back down in their chairs.
"So..." David started cautoudly, "That wasn't a wrong number was it?" He asked looking up at his boyfriend who's body tensed as he walked.
"No... it was Carol." He admitted.
"Oh... well, what did she want?" David asked, hope gleaming in his eyes. He didn't want to stay at Sebastien's. Not forever. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement which meant that David had to find a way to talk calmly with his parents. And he hoped that Pierre could do the same.
"I don't know... I hung up on her." Pierre said, his voice solemn. David's heart sunk. He didn't want to upset Pierre or start an argument, but he had to know he could speak his mind with Pierre and not have it be a big problem.
"Pie... um... don't you think maybe, well that maybe we could.. I don't know... try and like, make things work with our parents?" He asked, then he jumped back in before Pierre had time to get angry. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we have to forgive them for everything, especially after your mo- carol did, but I don't think the answer is to hide out at Sebastien's forever. They have their own problems to deal with and I don't feel like they need us there in the middle of it especially when it's consuming our lives so much we barely have time to think about anything else." He finished. He didn't dare look up at Pierre for the fact that he had no idea how Pierre would react.
Pierre sighed... "David..." He said in a defeated tone, like he was trying to break the bad news about something.
"Pierre, no. Listen to me." David cut him off. "Really think about it. None of this is ever really gonna blow over and it's fine to stay and help now but do you really want to stay like that forever?"
Pierre sighed again, and was silent. David knew what he was thinking. No, he didn't want to stay there forever but how could he leave his best friend like that?
"Okay. I'll call her back." Pierre said, defeated. David smiled and gave him a quick hug before they kept walking.
After walking into town and getting some food, they were both full, and settling onto a bench in the park, Pierre staring at his blank cell phone screen.
"Okay..." He said taking a deep breath, and pressing dial.
Author's Note: As usual, the first chapter is much shorter than the rest will be. DON'T WORRY, I WILL STILL BE WRITING MY HOTT BAGUETTES FIC, THE BOY NEXT DOOR, AT THE SAME TIME AS THIS. In no way does this mean I'm stopping either fic.
Alex could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard. He had to admit that he had some great times with Jack, Zack, and Rian, but the best times were ones like these, just him and Jack, his best friend since high school. He didn't know what it was but being with Jack just made him happy. Probably because they'd been friends for so long. But then again, he'd been friends with Rian and Zack for just as long... maybe it was just that him and Jack were always closest. It just... felt like more than friendship. Maybe this is how everyone felt about their best friends. It must be. Alex shook the thought from his head, and turned back to Jack who was just coming down from his laughing fit. Alex looked at Jack, smiling, eyes lit up like christmas lights, and something flipped inside him. Something he'd never felt before. He let the thought fade out of his head. It was nothing.
When Alex finally opened his eyes, he was fully rested and ready for the day... which wasn't right. There was sunlight spilling in bright through the bus windows... which also wasn't right. Didn't they have that interview this morning?
He pulled the curtain that closed in his little bed aside, and crawled out, revealing 12 empty bunks. Where the fuck did everyone go? What about the interview? Alex was almost starting to get angry at his friends, just out of confusion, when he heard the loud, unmistakable squeak of the door of the bus open and noise coming in from three familiar voices. He immediately moved, and going down the short staircase, (only a couple steps) met his friends in the main part of the bus. (a living room of sorts.) "Where the fuck were you guys? Why didn't you wake me?" He asked, brow furrowed. He wasn't really mad at his friends, just confused. All three of his friends looked at him, guilty.
Rian stepped forward. "Sorry man... we were going to, but Jack told us to let you sleep, so we just did the interview without you..." he said. Alex's heart started racing and he was instantly back to being himself. He was in a good mood...
Jack was just being sweet... he couldn't be mad at him for that. He smiled, and all the guys looked at each other, confused.
"So uh... we cool?" Zack asked, brow furrowing in confusion. Alex started laughing,
"Yeah man we're cool." He told him, then went back up to the bunks to get dressed for the day.
The minute the bus door closed, Jack sighed a breath of relief. He'd come dangerously close to revealing his secret more than once that morning and had to remind himself to be cool, not show that much affection. He couldn't just go around doing "sweet" things like that for Alex. But even if he couldn't be sweet, the fact was, Zack and Rian had gone sightseeing and the other bands had shit to take care of. He and Alex had the entire day to spend together, and that made him really really happy.
BABY WE'RE LIKE A TIME BOMB...
Alex's voice was suddenly blaring from his cell phone and he picked it up to check the caller Id.
"Dude, you have OUR song as your ringtone?" Alex - the real Alex this time - laughed from behind him. "Douchebag" He said through sweet, playful laughs that shook his chest.
Jack just smiled, rolled his eyes, shook his head, and looked down at his screen. Holly. He shoved the phone back in his pocket. Let her think he was in an interview or playing a show.
Now, Jack loved his girlfriend. He really did. Just not in the way he should...
He really did want to care about her that way but the fact was, the only person he'd ever really loved that way was standing in front of him. Was his best friend Alex.
And now you know Jack's biggest secret...
Jack Barakat, lead guitarist of All Time Low, is gay. Homosexual. A flaming star above the planet Queer-dorf. And he'd been deeply, madly, and irreversibly in love with his best friend, and bandmate, Alex Gaskarth for as long as he could remember.
But he'd gotten good at hiding it. Really good. Ironically, the only people who could see it, were their fans. And even then, he'd gotten scarily good at convincing everyone around him it was just a joke and his fans were crazy.
But they weren't. And to be honest, even if they had no idea how true their speculations were, it felt good for Jack to have someone know the truth.
"Uh... yeah..." Jack said, taking the phone back out to look pointlessly at the screen again, and shove it back into his back pocket.
"You guys fighting?" Alex asked curiously, brow creased.
"Um... nah I just uh... I don't think it's gonna work out." Jack said, instantly hating himself for it. How could he SAY that? Holly was the only thing he had to cover up his feelings for Alex! He couldn't leave her! But now that he'd said it... he kind of had to...
"REALLY?!" Alex piped up excitedly and Jack's head shot up in shock and confusion.
"I... I uh... I mean, really?" Alex said, lowering his voice drastically and trying to sound casual. But Jack wasn't fooled. His heartbeat picked up and started racing. He didn't know what this meant, or if it was all in his head, but he knew he didn't imagine that excitement in Alex's voice. Maybe it was about something completely different, or maybe it was involuntary. But he knew it was there.
Regardless, Jack knew he was filling himself with false hope. As far as he knew, Alex had never even gave a guy a second thought in that way. Alex was straight.
Jack sighed out loud.
"Uh hey, I'm sure it'll be fine man..." Alex said sounding confused and disappointed. Jack immediately regretted the sigh.
"Oh yeah, I know. I just uh... I'm tired." He said. He knew Alex saw through it.
Alex knew Jack was not just 'tired' but he also knew he wasn't disappointed about Holly. He didn't know what was up with Jack, but he knew his best friend. Suddenly, Alex felt himself wanting to comfort Jack. And not a pat on the back and a 'chin up man'. Alex felt a nearly unmistakable urge to wrap his arms around Jack, lean his head in the space between Jack's shoulder and neck... and kiss him.
Alex jumped up off the couch. "Uh... hey I'll be right back." He said and turned, rushing up to the bunks. He paced back and forth, head in his hands. What the fuck was happening to him? He'd never thought of himself as gay, or bi, or liking men at all before... but if he was, maybe that was okay. What was not okay was having feelings like this for JACK. His BEST FRIEND and band mate! If they got together and it didn't work out, or if Jack didn't feel the same... their entire lives would be ruined. Everything they'd worked for, it would all fall apart. He took a deep breath, settled himself, and organized his thoughts. How hard could it be? Ignore the feelings. Ignore the feelings. Ignore the feelings...
He made his way back downstairs.
I know what I saw Jack thought to himself. Alex was happy he wasn't with Holly and disappointed when he thought he still had feelings for Holly! And then he'd rushed upstairs, even though he had no reason to be there!
ALEX... LIKES ME BACK.
A hundred thoughts ran through Jack's head before he settled on one. Alex was smart, he liked to think things out and do what he thought was right. If Alex had feelings for Jack, he would never act on them. Jack, always being the more reckless, spur of the moment one, knew what he had to do. His heart raced as he saw Alex descending from the steps. It was now or never.
He stood up from the couch and could feel his hands shaking in time with his unsteady breathing. He met Alex in the middle of the room and watched as his friend's face got confused and nervous when he held one of his hands.
And he leaned in and kissed him...
Jack felt at peace with the world as his fears disappeared, the kiss being deepened by Alex as their tongues slid together, dancing and entwining them as one.
Jack could feel the passion of the kiss moving his body, he had no control. He wrapped his arms around Alex's waist and they walked together until Jack was seated on the couch and Alex was straddling him, moving his hips to grind on the person who would never be considered just his 'best friend' again.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAK Came the all too familiar sound of the tour bus door.
Alex jumped from Jack's body and at lightning speed was sitting beside him on the couch, acting natural. Jack was quick to flip the TV on to some cartoon, as they waited for whoever it was to come in and hopefully not suspect anything.
Laughter instantly flooded the bus as Pierre and Jeff from Simple Plan came in, hand full with bags of fast food, souvenirs, and things they'd bought at the nearby shops in the town the were stopped in for the next two days. Alex and Jack glance at each other, exchanging an unspoken pact that was clear to the both of them.
It never happened.
Theme song for this chapter: Evanescence - Haunted
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this in a seperate document which I don't usually do, but when I uploaded it here, it fucked up the spacing so I'm so so so so SO sorry for the lack of paragraphing.
Author's note: Short chapter. I know. And no theme song. Sorry...
"MOM WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS ISN'T PIERRE'S FAULT!" David screamed as he was dragged by one arm into the house and his mother took a protective stance in front of him. Pierre was unsure what was going on but judging by how many times she'd screamed at him that "she knows" she had to be talking about David's sexuality. And probably blamed Pierre for it.
She turned suddenly and looked horrified at David. "Not.His.FAULT?!" She said, starting in a whisper and screaming/hissing/spitting the word fault at her son as David backed up, eyes wide with fear.
"HE RAPED YOU DAVID! HE TOOK AWAY YOUR INNOCENCE!" She shouted and Pierre's eyes got wide with shock and he could almost have started crying by the pressure.
"YOU DON'T THINK WHEN HIS MOTHER FOUND OUT SHE WOULD TELL ME?!" She yelled at David and as Pierre heard what the source of the information was, tears did start spilling from his eyes. David was near tears himself and opened his mouth to protest, when before he could, the woman spun viciously to face Pierre. "YOU! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" She shrieked. And I mean shrieked. Like nails on a chalkboard. "GET OUT OF MY YARD YOU'RE LUCKY I WON'T HAVE YOU ARRESTED!" She continued shrieking when in one motion she slammed the door shut and broke down in loud, angry tears that Pierre could still hear through the door as he staggered backwards and started running.
He didn't know where he was going, but he kept running. He didn't want to go to Jeff or Seb's. What would he tell them? 'Sorry, I'm just crying because David's mom started yelling at me for raping him.'
Yup, that's high up on his list of conversation starters.
So he had no choice really, but to just go home and face the inevitable.
As he climbed the steps leading to his front door, he knew the best thing would be to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and think about what he's going to say. But with every step he'd taken, he'd just become angrier. He was livid. He was hurt. And he wasn't thinking. He stormed into the house and whirled around the corner into the living room where his mother was reading a book.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" He screamed. The sound echoed through his house. He couldn't remember a time he'd yelled louder, especially at his mom.
She looked up from her book, wide eyed and startled. "Pierre. You do NOT use that tone with me!" She said as if she had no idea what he was talking about. "Now why don't you calm down and tell me what it is that has you so upset?"
Pierre let his mouth fall open and he felt his anger rising, if that was even possible.
For a second he considered speaking calmly to her... but he couldn't even give her that satisfaction. He let every last shred of his anger erupt from him. "I DON'T GIVE TWO FUCKS WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT DAVID OR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. DO YOU REALIZE THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING ARRESTED?! DO YOU REALIZE THAT WE LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN?! DO YOU FUCKING REALIZE THAT YOU'VE JUST FUCKING TOLD PEOPLE THAT YOUR SON IS A FUCKING RAPIST?!" He bellowed. It was only when the word 'rapist' came out louder than the rest that he realized it was even possible for him to yell any louder.
He could tell his mother knew what she did was wrong, but she was determined to stick with playing innocent. She tilted her head to the side.
"Pierre, I think you're being a little dr-" She started Pierre started yelling in her face again, so loud that she couldn't have finished the word if she tried.
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THE WORD DRAMATIC. AH!" Pierre yelled spinning around in a weird half circle throwing his neck back with his hands over his face. He didn't know what to say he was just angry. He finally looked back at her. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SMALL THIS TOWN IS?! WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS PEOPLE THEIR SON IS A RAPIST?!" He screamed in her face. "FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU. I'M DONE WITH YOU." He said and honestly, though he knew he should, he didn't feel a single shred of remorse for what he'd said he spun, stormed out the door, and slammed it shut behind him so hard he thought he heard the wooden frame crack. But he didn't stop to look. He didn't stop at all. He just kept going, speed walking angrily as he pounded the screen of his phone in texting Jeff to meet him at Seb's house.
As he stormed up the front steps of his friend's house and burst through the door into an empty living room, he was tempted to slam it shut behind him. But he didn't. After all, this wasn't his house, and it wasn't like Sebastien or his parents had called Pierre a rapist.
Anger was still pouring out of him and honestly he couldn't help himself, he did slam the door as he stormed into Sebastien's room, taking his backpack of his back and throwing it as hard as he could against a wall. He let himself scream on the top of his lungs as he spun and fell back onto Seb's bed.
He just sat there letting tears fall as Seb watched, knowing Pierre well enough not to say anything.
When Jeff came into the room, he had a big smile on his face, no idea that Pierre's world had just come crashing down around him and that the three of them, though Seb and Jeff really had nothing to do with it, were standing in the rubble.
"What's going on?!" Jeff said, looking around between the two, confused.
Pierre finally sat up and looked at them both abruptly with puffy eyes. It was time he spoke up.
"I was just kicked out of David's yard by his screaming, crying mother." He started. His friends' faces mimicked each other. Solemn, cautious, waiting for the punch line and they knew it would be something bad. But even so, Pierre knew there was no way they'd be prepared for what he was about to tell them. He could hardly believe it himself and he'd just lived through it.
"My mom..." He started, and right there on the spot he decided it was time to stop calling her that. That woman was the farthest thing from a 'mom'.
"Carol... she... she told his mother... that I..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as silent tears slipped from them and opened them again.
"She said I raped him." He said, his bottom lip quivering and brow weakening as he gave way to the tears. Seb was there in an instant with one arm around his friends shoulder as he cried and Pierre could feel the anger radiating from him.
He looked into blank space, then to Jeff, who was still standing at the (now closed) door, with a look of disbelief on his face and tears pouring down his face for his friend.
"You're staying here." Seb suddenly said sternly through the angry shaking. "I'll have my mom drive us over there later to pick up some of your shit. I'm coming with you and she's not saying a word to you. At least for now, you're living here." He said as an angry tear rolled down his cheek. Seb cried, but never out of sadness. Only, and I mean ONLY when he was trying to contain more anger than his body could handle. Pierre took a look around the room. Jeff was now sitting in the computer chair with his head in his hands.
"I love you guys." He said. It was quick, it was abrupt, but it couldn't be more true. They both gave him smiles and nods and hugs and he knew that was their 'me too'.
Pierre's heart was beating at hyper speed as he approached his front door with Sebastien, when he heard fast footsteps, and a small voice.
"Pierre!" David said desperately as he ran across his own yard making his way over to where Pierre was standing with Seb, who had stepped back a few steps. Even from where David was, Pierre could see that he'd been crying... hard. And he hated it, and hated Carol all over again. David got closer but didn't slow his pace and Pierre just took a slow step forward, unsure of what to do next...
When David all in one motion, barely even slowing down, wrapped his arms around Pierre's neck... and kissed him.
Suddenly the world around Pierre was spinning as he melted into David, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist and closing his eyes. And he knew things would be okay... because they would make it.
All of the emotions swelling up in Pierre seemed to build up a cocoon surrounding him and David, keeping them safe from the world... when a sharp shriek slashed through it, rattling them to the core.
"DAVID NO!" The woman screamed and they both looked up to see David's mother crumpled on the ground. Before Pierre knew what was happening, he was being dragged by the hand and brought to a stop in front of her, Seb trailing behind.
"I told you..." David said in a voice that was weak, yet somehow still strong. "He didn't rape me mom... I love him..."
Pierre's head snapped towards David, who gave him a sheepish look, and everything inside him knew that he was so in love with this boy.
"I DON'T CARE!" She shrieked then let the next words come out in sobs. "What did I do-who-who wro-hong...." She sobbed into her hands. David backed up a few steps slowly, letting his own tears fall. Pierre could see the broken heart in his eyes and didn't know what to do. He looked to Sebastien, his last hope, and gave him a desperate, pleading look.
Seb looked helpless and he shrugged. "The more the merrier?" He said, unsure of himself, but willing to do anything to help his friend.
Pierre felt relief and appreciation wash over him as he placed two firm hands on David's shoulders and gave him a strong, sure, loving kiss. "We're going to my house." He said as it broke. "You go inside, get the essentials, and I'll meet you back here in ten minutes. You're coming with me to stay at Seb's." He said and before David had a chance to say anything Pierre was walking back towards his own house. Then he stopped and turned back to David.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot..." He said jogging in to close the distance he'd created, and kissing David quick and sweet on the cheek.
"I love you too." He said smiling as he jogged back to gather his things.
Seb's mom wasn't happy when she heard about the promises Seb had made, but when Seb pulled her aside and told her the whole story, she understood. Pierre would sleep in Seb's bed for now, and David on the couch. Pierre didn't like sticking David on the couch but he really had no choice. It's not like it was David that had already slept with Seb countless times growing up, innocent sleepovers of course, but still. To put David in Seb's bed would be weird and it wasn't exactly a big couch. Pierre and David hadn't said much to each other since they arrived, and all three of them were more than ready to crash by the time they got settled in, so Pierre got comfy beside Seb in his bed and was just drifting off to sleep...
"Pie?" Seb asked, waking Pierre up... kind of.
"Yeah?" Pierre asked over his shoulder, he and Seb's backs being to each other.
"Can I talk to you about something?" Seb asked in a shaky voice. There was something about his tone... something that worried Pierre to his core...
Something was wrong.
Pierre'd showered, changed, and changed, and changed, until he looked as close to perfect as he thought he could, and was now standing at the front door about to leave when a voice came from behind him.
"Where are you going?" She asked sternly. For a moment, his mother almost sounded like a jealous girldriend. He turned around slowly, brow creased. Why was she acting so crazy all of a sudden? Like, what did she expect him to say? 'Oh I'm just on my way over to fuck David in the middle of the day on the couch beside his parents. Have a nice afternoon!' no. Why was it so bad for him to spend time with a guy he liked?
"Over to David's to hang out...?" He said, hoping his tone showed her how ridiculous she was being. Her features hardened instantly.
"I don't think that's a very good idea..." She said, raising her eyebrows authoritatively.
Who does she think she is? David's a great guy...
"Why not?" Pierre asked, not even making the slightest attempt to hide his anger.
His mother stared at him, hard faced, for a moment, then sighed.
"BECAUSE PIERRE. I am your mother and I want what's best for you and I don't know if David's it. You slept over at his house the first time you hung out, which would be fine if you didn't have a crush on him, but you do! And the other day, I saw you walked to school leaving the car, so I bring it to the school so you don't have to walk home, and then get a call from the school saying you used it to cut class! Then, Sadie from my book club sees you and Jeff at the mall talking about finding the perfect outfit to look good for someone and honestly, I just don't want you ruining your life for this boy and it feels like it's headed there fast!" His mother said, finishing with a quick shallow breath. Pierre stared at her wide-eyed. He didn't expect the lecture, his mother wasn't the type. But now that he stood, letting the words sink in, he felt his shock turn to anger.
"Those were MY decisions." He started calmly. He was determined to stay calm, in order to apear sane and have his words taken seriously. "Not David's. David didn't tell me to sleep over, I fell asleep. David didn't tell me to cut class, I did that. You have no right to judge somebody else based on MY decisions. So I'm gonna let you get your way this time, but know this..." Pierre stared at his mother who looked utterly trapped.
"You will not stop me from seeing David." Pierre finished, and he turned to storm up the stairs.
When he got in his room, he started pacing back and forth. What am I gonna do? I promised David I would come over, and he's going to think I ditched him...
Pierre's thoughts swirled through his head... when he got an idea.
He practically jumped out of his socks when it came to him and started frantically searching around the room for something... anything... that would work. He dug through his end table drawer... nothing. Went through his closet... nothing. He started digging through his backpack...
Pencils... pens... binder... era-
Pierre sighed out loud. It would have to do. He took the eraser out of his bag along with a notebook, and sharpie, breaking the eraser into two pieces, and taking it all to the window where he sat on his end table looking at his curtains.
He took a long, deep breath, and opened them.
David's curtains were closed. This wasn't good...
How would he even be able to tell if David was in his bedroom?
Pierre inhaled deeply, holding his breath for as long as he could. He would have to take the leap of faith.
He pushed the glass in his window up, opening it. And threw the eraser.
It rebounded off of David's window with a pang, and Pierre held his breath again as he waited for David to come to his window. Pierre watched the numbers change twice on his clock, and realized David was either not in his room, or didn't hear it. So he threw the other piece, and holding his breath again, waited.
This is stupid, even if he comes to the window, he's gonna think I'm lame for even doing this...
Just as Pierre was ready to launch another self-destructive thought, the curtains across from him opened slowly, revealing the confused face of a beautiful teenage boy.
The confusion on David's face quickly melted into happiness as he saw Pierre smiling at him, and Pierre's stomach flipped, which was something he'd never felt before. And even though it scared him, he kind of liked it. He smiled wide at David and couldn't believe they were friends...
Then suddenly he remembered why they were staring at each other. He jumped slightly, and scrambled to get his notebook and marker, scrawling a quick message and holding it to the window.
Pierre watched as David's face fell, disappointed. On one hand, it was kind of a good thing that not spending time with Pierre would make David sad... but at the same time, it still hurt him to see David frown at all. Especially when he had such a beautiful smile.
David's eyes brightened a bit, not in a happy way, but in an 'I just got an idea' way, and he held one finger up to the window, and rushed to the side of the room, out of Pierre's view.
About a minute and a half later, David rushed back to the window with his own sharpie, and a notebook that he automatically held to the window.
It shouldn't have surprised Pierre, but it did, how neat and perfect and beautiful David's writing was.
If it were possible for Pierre to feel any worse, he'd done it. He pursed his lips and wrote the only thing he could think of on the next sheet of paper in his notebook. Feeling a little pressure at how perfect David's writing was, Pierre wrote neater this time...
David smiled a little at this, and Pierre couldn't help but smile back as he watched and waited as David wrote his next message.
Pierre smiled wildly at this message and even though he wasn't sure why, he felt his heart do a hundred flips as he scrambled to punch David's number into the land line that he had on his end table, sitting next to him.
He put the phone to his ear, and watched as David hit a button on his cell phone, and pressed it to his ear.
"Hi..." David said, looking into Pierre's eyes through their windows, and smiling softly.
"Hi..." Pierre said looking down, then back up at David, hunching his shoulders, and smiling, trying to control himself.
"I'd love to walk to school with you." David said, pressing his lips together in an atempt to hide his wide smile. Then he hung up and closed the curtains. Just like that.
Pierre looked across the way, stunned. But it didn't matter... David wanted to walk to school with him. As a friend at least, David liked Pierre. Pierre climbed off the end table and fell back on his bed. His moher was mad at him, he was probably going to get detention for skipping school... but he couldn't think of anything that could make life any better.
...Until his door flew open.
Pierre opened his eyes and sat up to see his mother standing with her hands on her hips, holding the second handset for their landline... and that's when he remembered they had conference calling.
"I.told.you. That you were NOT to see that boy!" His mother said, raising his voice, and also Pierre's anger level.
WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?!?
He stood up, looked her in the eye, and stood his ground. "And I said no." He said.
His mother's eyes widened in shock and she took a step forward. She wasn't backing down.
"Pierre Bouvier you have two seconds to call him back and tell him you do NOT want to be friends with him..." His mother warned, looking angrier than Pierre had ever seen her. Did she think he was two?
As he tried to think of something to say back, he remembered something his mother used to say to him as a kid. He flashed back to the first time she'd said it...
Pierre was at the park with Jeff, playing. Pierre's mom had brought them and was watching them play pirates on the play structure. There were three other kids there, two were in the sandbox and one was playing by himself with a toy, when he put it down to come talk to Pierre and Jeff.
"Um... Hi..." the little boy said in a quiet voice, looking up at Jeff and Pierre from the ground and interrupting their game of pirates. Now, if there's one thing Pierre remembered about his childhood, it was that he HATED getting his games interrupted.
"Hi." He said, a little annoyed.
"Um..." The little boy started and though he couldn't see it back when he was a kid, the boy was really nervous. "I'm Sebastien... I live here now in this town and my brother too." He said in that cute way little kids did. But back then, it wasn't cute. It was just more to keep Pierre away from his game.
"Cool." Pierre said, and by the way Sebastien's face lit up, he could tell the boy didn't know Pierre was being sarcastic, wanting to just get back to his game.
"Yeah!" Sebastien said enthusiastically. "So, uh... that game looks really fun... can I play?" He asked, smiling and raising his eyebrows hopefully. Pierre was angry. How could this boy think he could stop the game like that and then expect them to let him play?!
"Sur-" Jeff started enthusiastically, but Pierre cut him off.
"No! We don't want you to play with us!" Pierre said. He spat the words at the boy, who's eyes got wide and filled with tears. Pierre just brushed it off, not realizing what he'd done. Then went back to the game.
"ARRGH!" Pierre said, raising his hand in a hook towards Jeff who looked, almost sad. He didn't look like he wanted to play anymore. And that's when a different, more familiar voice came from below.
"PIERRE CHARLES BOUVIER, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW." His mother demanded. He looked over at Jeff, who didn't look confused, but Pierre knew he was, because Pierre himself was confused. He jumped down from the climber, followed by Jeff and looked up at his mother, who bent down to look him in the eye.
"WHY DID YOU TELL THAT BOY HE COULDN'T PLAY WITH YOU?" His mother asked loudly. If her voice had gone up one octave, she would have been yelling. Pierre's eyes got wide, and suddenly he was scared. Not guilty of denying the boy, but scared of getting in trouble. He didn't say a word, simply because he knew nothing he said would be acceptable for his mother.
She looked him stern in the eye, anger flaming around her, speaking quieter, but slowly, which only emphasized her words that much more.
"Since when do we hurt people's feelings on purpose?"
The way she slowly spoke the words, letting them sink into Pierre's skin, and crawling under it, made Pierre realize what he had done. He'd made the boy feel bad, left out. All he wanted to do was play the game...
Even as a child, Pierre knew that nothing he said to his mother now could compensate for making the boy cry.
So without another word to her, he slowly turned and crossed the park to where the boy was sitting on a bench with his mother, swinging his legs, looking down at his lap as she was asking him if he was really sure he wanted to go home.
"Um... hi..." Pierre said nervously, twiddling his thumbs, his eyes flipping back and forth from the ground, to the boy and his mother. The boy's head shot up, looking at Pierre with sad eyes. Pierre looked down at feet for a moment, in shame of how he'd made the boy feel.
When neither the boy, nor his mother said anything to Pierre, he knew it was up to him to speak.
"I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it. I'm real sorry, and if you want to come play pirates with us, that will be really fun..." Pierre said, and even though five minutes ago he'd wanted nothing less than to play with this boy, he really wished the boy would say yes.
But why would he? Pierre was so mean to him...
But it didn't matter. Pierre knew that when he saw the boy's eyes light up, and he smiled. "Okay!" He said excitedly, jumping off the bench, and nothing else had mattered. The two ran off back to the playground to play with Jeff... to play Pirates...
That happened twelve years ago, and to this day, Pierre, Sebastien, and Jeff were best friends. If his mother hadn't said that to him, who knows where he'd be today.
Pierre's mind snapped back to reality. He took a step towards his mother, looked her in the eye, and spoke slowly...
"Since when do we hurt people's feelings on purpose?" He asked her, and as her eyes got wide with anger and shock, he pushed past her and walked straight down the stairs, and out the door.
He wasn't going to David's, but he knew his mother would think he was, which was exactly what he wanted her to think. But regardless of what she thought, he turned in the other direction and walked two streets over to Sebastien's house.
When Seb's mom let him in, Pierre greeted her, and walked straight to Seb's bedroom, where he found him hanging out with Jeff.
Jeff's face lit up with excitement, and Seb's with welcome, given that he didn't know anything about the David thing yet.
"Hey man, how was your date?" Jeff teased, nodding his head toward Pierre. Pierre smiled and rolled his eyes as he closed Sebastien's bedroom door.
Seb looked back and forth between his friends, confused.
"What?! What date?!" He asked somewhat excitedly, somewhat hurt that he obviously was left out of the loop.
Pierre rolled his eyes again. "Nothing..." He said in a dramatic voice that clearly said Shut up, you're going to get my hopes up about this.
"Oh you didn't hear?" Jeff said playfully. "P's gettin' ass!" He finished laughing excitedly as Pierre picked a pillow off Seb's bed and threw it at him. He's taking this a bit far...
"Dude, shut up, you know that's not true." He said smiling as Jeff nodded his head in defeat.
"Yet..." Jeff muttered under his breath. It was so quiet Pierre barely heard it, but he did, and so did Seb. Not that it mattered, he planned to tell his friend about what was going on anyways, he just never got a chance.
"WHAT?! Dude, what am I missing here?! Who is it, what's going on?!" Seb asked confused, hurt, and happy, all at the same time. Pierre knew Seb would be happy for him, which made him feel kind of bad about waiting so long to tell him. But it's not like he could change the past, so he might as well tell him now...
"Okay, well... his name's-" Pierre started.
"IT'S DAVID DESROSIERS, HIS NEIGHBOUR!" Jeff blurted excitedly and honestly, Pierre thought he was acting a bit childish.
He sighed. "Would you like to tell the story?" Pierre asked sarcastically.
"Well actually..." Jeff said hopefully, and Pierre rolled his eyes and tilted his head at his friend, but when Jeff only gave him a more hopefull, sheepish look, Pierre sighed in defeat.
"Go ahead..." He said smiling at his friend. He really was lucky to have his best friends be so cool with this... you know, his sexuality...
"OKAY! SO-" Jeff started, and he rambled on about everything about how Pierre'd liked David since 9th grade, to how they'd walked to school, to finding the outfit at the mall, to Pierre sleeping with David, to promising to go back to David's this morning.
"Which brings us to the present, where our best friend was just about to tell us how it went!" Jeff said excitedly, passing the figurative conversational torch to Pierre.
"I didn't go..." He said.
Pierre had barely gotten the words out when Jeff's eyes practically popped out of his face.
"WHAT?! WHY WOULDN'T YOU GO?!" He panicked, and Seb slapped him in the chest, to say 'stop yelling in my house before my mom hears you.' Jeff gave him an apologetic look, then flipped his attention back to Pierre, who was sitting in Seb's desk chair rather than on the bed with his friends.
"My mom fuckin flipped. She heard we ditched the other day and started going on about how David's ruining my life and she doesn't want me to see him, and I basically told her to go fuck herself and came over here." Pierre explained. "But I did talk to David and he said he wants to walk to school with me tomorrow."
Jeff and Seb both smiled wide, hardly controlling themselves.
"We're real happy for you man..." Seb said, making Pierre glad he had one sane friend who wasn't going to practically fangirl over his love life. Pierre smiled appreciatively, and once again, felt eternally grateful that he'd gone back over that day to talk to the boy in the park.
Pierre didn't go home that night. He stayed the night at Sebastien's, and so did Jeff. Not necesarily because he wanted to spend time with his friends, but more to freak out his mother. And it worked.
Pierre walked through the front door, and was planning to go straight to his room, if his mother hadn't come storming around the corner into the front entrance the second the doorknob turned. He immediately rolled his eyes, and tilted his head, exhaling dramatically, trying desperately to show her he didn't care what she had to say, and waiting for her to say something. What was she even doing up waiting for him at 6:30 AM?
"Do not give me that look, you directly disobeyed my orders!" She spit at him furiously.
"Okay, first of all, I'm not a dog." Pierre started in a bored, unimpressed tone. "And Second, I was at Sebastien's phsyco." He said, and with that, turned and left his mother standing stunned at the bottom of the stairs.
As he closed his bedroom door, and found his bed, he lay down instantly, a little stunned himself that he had just said that to his mother. Not that she hadn't been showing some pretty hurtful behaviour herself, but still...
Anyways, he didn't have time to think about it. He had to get ready for school...
Get ready to see David.
When the familiar squeek of the door in his third period class once again drifted through the room, Pierre turned his head to see David walking in. His eyes flicked to the empty seat next to him, then to the board, where he was determined to keep them. He didn't even look when he felt David slide into the seat next to him. Actually, it was tempting, given how surprised he was David even sat with him. After all, after ditching Pierre, leaving him waiting outside his house for fourty-five minutes, and making him late for his first class, sitting with him didn't seem like something David would want. The only thing that confused Pierre now, was did David lead him on... or was it all in his head?
In his peripheral vision, Pierre saw David trying to lean into Pierre's line of vision, but he didn't even flinch.
"Hi..." David asked sounding only half guilty. Pierre sighed internally and turned to look at... at the boy's sad, perfect, beautiful, eyes. And suddenly he just really hoped David had a good excuse, because he didn't want to be mad at him. He wasn't done with him.
"Hi..." Pierre said quietly, looking back at the board. He may have been hoping to forgive David, but that didn't mean he had yet. David didn't say anything for about a minute, taking a breath in every now and again to start talking, and Pierre could tell he was trying to find the right words. And oh how Pierre hoped the words would be right. Because he really was upset siat what David had done to him, and if he didn't even have a good reason... Pierre didn't know what he would do.
"Look Pierre, I'm really sorry. I had a doctor's appointment during first period, just a checkup. But my mom didn't tell me about it until it was time to rush out the door and... and I feel terrible." David said. His tone had changed drastically and Pierre could tell he really meant it. He looked up at the other boy and smiled weakly.
"Alright, it's cool. Maybe we can hang out tonight?" He asked hopefully. Oh great, now I sound desperate and clingy. Awesome. Go Pierre.
David smiled a genuine smile at the request. "Sure, how 'bout your place?" He asked. Pierre smiled and opened his mouth to say yes, when he remembered that might not be such a good idea. The last thing he needed right now was to have David in the same room with his mother.
"Um... actually, your place would be better, if that's okay?" He asked. Pierre tried desperately to keep his mind away from thoughts about how rude and needy and idiotic he sounded. And it worked, only because David started talking again, consuming all of Pierre's thoughts.
"Yeah, it's not problem. We can walk there together after school... you know, since I missed our date this morning." David said smiling playfully. Pierre laughed and nodded his head, and was going to say something more, when the second bell rang, indicating class had started. As he sat, staring blankly at the board, pretending he was listening to the introduction to the lesson, he let his heart soar at the word date coming out of David's mouth about the two of them. Even if it were a joke.
The rest of the day was spent with Pierre's mind wandering in and out of conversations and classes, always finding it's way to David. By fourth period, his last class, he was practically jumping out of his seat ready to go meet David and walk to his house.
He was so anxious waiting for the bell to ring, that he barely even noticed when it actually did ring. But it did, and he jumped from his desk, and actually ran down the stairs to his locker, grabbing his bag, and rushing to the front of the school where David was already waiting.
Pierre slowed his pace as he approached David, so as to not look too desperate or show how much he'd been anticipating the moment. After all, even though Pierre knew David was gay, David still didn't know Pierre was gay. To him they were just friends.
"Hey!" David said smiling brightly as Pierre approached. Pierre smiled back.
"Hey..." He said tilting his head, and taking mental note of how perfectly cute David was. Then something else caught his eye. Right now, they might just be friends, but someday that door might open, and Pierre had to earn points.
"Hey, let me take these..." He said sweeping up the stack of heavy books David was carrying. David's eye got a glimmer in them then, and Pierre smiled as David thanked him, and they started walking.
They walk to David's house was great, they just talked about everything they could think of, including the CD David had leant Pierre, and Pierre told him trying to be inconspicuous about it, how much he loved the song 'wonderwall.' The one that had reminded him of David...
David responded in a way you might expect, but there was something about his response that, even if only for a second, made Pierre think maybe David liked him...
But that was ridiculous. It was just a song.
Pierre still couldn't believe he was friends with David... David Desrosiers, the boy next door who he'd liked for two years.
It felt amazing just to walk with him...
Then as they approached David's front door, everything changed. As it flew open before them, Pierre could hardly believe what happened...
"Are you sure?! Like, are you absolutely sure?! Becuase it has to be perfect! Last time we talked I was an absolute idiot and I have to look perfect!" Pierre ranted and even he himself couldn't believe how gay he sounded, but he ignored that because he had bigger problems to worry about right now. Like his sudden insecurities about his outfit.
"Dude... you're just nervous. It was perfect when we bought it, and it's perfect now. Now go before you're late, and call me when you get home." Jeff said, and Pierre's heart kept racing. He still wasn't sure about this. Any of this. What if David was just being polite and didn't even want him there? No. If he didn't want you there, he wouldn't invite you.
Pierre opened his mouth to ask Jeff one more time if he was sure about the outfit but he just rolled his eyes and left the room. He was sure... and Pierre had to trust him. So he took one last look in the mirror, and with a deep breath, he went downstairs to collect his parents, and go to the Desrosiers'.
When he emerged from the staircase his mother had just finished tying his father's tie and they both turned to look at him. He looked down at them from half way up the stairs, making the uncertainty visible on his face. "Um... do I look okay?" He asked them nervously. The question was mostly directed towards his mother. His dad knew about as much as he did when it came to fashion.
She gave Pierre a... look.
"Sweetie, you look great." She said and it wasn't hard to tell the compliment was genuine. She paused to tilt her head to the side and give Pierre a knowing smile and he instantly regretted asking. Here it comes...
"Pierre... honey... is there a... um, reason, that you're pushing us to spend the afternoon next door after all the years we had barely spoken to our neighbours?" She asked and she gave him another look and before he could even open his mouth to lie, she kept talking. "Like maybe... the cute boy that also lives in that house." She finished and Pierre felt his cheeks burn bright. There was no denying it now, she already knew. Pierre sighed and hung his head in defeat. But that didn't mean he wanted to talk about boys with his mom...
"Can we just go?" He asked, not meeting his mother's eyes as she laughed and led him and his father out of the house.
Pierre's heart sped with every step he took, and by the time they'd reached the end of their driveway and were starting to walk next door, it was beating so hard and fast he thought it might actually explode out of his chest. And frankly, he liked it in his chest...
So it didn't help when an excited David yelled his name and met them in the middle of the driveway. But it did change was he was feeling.
He was still nervous... but at the same time he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness come over him when he saw David's face. And heard his voice...
"Mr. Bouvier, Mrs. Bouvier, everyone's in the backyard, you can go ahead back if you want." David said in an overly friendly voice. "Pierre, my parents said it was alirght if we hung out in my room since there's really nobody back there but adults..." That's probably because your parents don't know they've sent a gay boy with a crush on their son to be alone with him in his bedroom... Pierre shoved all negative thoughts aside and let excitement take over at the thought of being alone with David. All afternoon...
As David's door closed behind Pierre, he walked across the large room awkwardly looking around. It wasn't at all what he was expecting. It was bigger than any bedroom Pierre had ever seen, and he noticed a large amount of zebra print in the room. David had king size bed, complete all in zebra bedding, with a black nightstand and zebra lamp, a huge black bookshelf with what had to be hundreds of books, and a desk which currently held a laptop and some school supplies. On the other side of the room, which sort of had an invisible line dividing it (it was that big) there was a zebra print couch surrounded by about ten black and white bean bag chairs, which were set up to face a wall that had a flat screen TV mounted on it. In comparison to Pierre's which was practically a closet with a bed... David's bedroom was incredible. Pierre sighed, realizing how perfect everything about David was. Realizing that even had David been gay, which he wasn't, he was way out of his league...
"Um... you can sit down if you want..." David said and Pierre spun around, feeling his face get hot. If it were possible to forget David's prescence... he'd just done it. But he went over to where David was sitting in a bean bag chair, and joined him, sitting in one of his own, leaving one chair betweem them.
"Thanks." Pierre said smiling hoping to make up for the small idiocy he'd just displayed. He was determined not to get flushed today and embarass himself.
David automatically flipped the TV on to some channel that was playing mainstream music videos, and turned the volume down so they could still talk. Pierre couldn't help but break out in a huge smile, finally letting it soak in where he was. If you'd have told him a year ago that he would be sitting in David Desrosier's bedroom listening to music... he would have told you to go fuck yourself. But here he was...
Pierre finally looked up at David and the second he laid eyes on him, breathing became more difficult.
Half because of how truly beautiful David was, and half out of panic because they were both just sitting there saying nothing and he knew he had to do something about it.
"So... I really like your room." Pierre said, looking around nervously, praying that he didn't sound stupid.
David laughed and Pierre's heart soared to the roof. It wasn't a condescending laugh, like he was laughing at Pierre. Just a laugh...
"Thanks. Me too. I uh... kind of have a thing for zebra stripes." David said, looking down at his lap self conciously. He looked back up the moment Pierre started to talk, as if the gravity of his voice had pulled David's face up to eye level with his own.
"Yeah I noticed." Pierre said looking around, laughing softly. And then the two of them looked at each other... and burst out laughing. Loud, hard, fits of laughter, as if they'd been best friends for years and had just said the funniest thing in the world. It was weird. They both knew how weird it was... but still neither of them could bring themselves to regret it because at the same time, it was kind of an ice breaker.
When Pierre came down from his laughing fit, a few seconds before David, they were both panting, and it was like the entire atmosphere of the room had changed. It wasn't awkward anymore, they were just two guys hanging out.
"So you hang around all the hockey guys right?" David asked abruptly. Pierre nodded.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do. Why?" He asked, letting his expression show what he hoped was welcome for David to talk.
"Oh just wondering. I used to know a guy that was on the team..." David knew a guy on the team? Pierre had never seen David hanging out with anybody besides his one best friend who was definitely not a hockey player. From what Pierre could tell, they were both kind of music nerds. Not music nerds like, band geeks, but like, they loved punk music. As far as he could tell.
Pierre shook his head quickly to clear it of thoughts, something he did a lot, and checked back in to the conversation with David.
"Oh, really? Who? Maybe I know him. I mean, I don't play, but my two best friends do." Pierre said and as the words left his lips, he could see David tensing up. He could feel his body get stiff as something... regret... registered in his eyes.
He didn't want to talk about it, and Pierre wouldn't pry.
"So, um- you really music." Pierre said looking around pointedly at the punk band posters covering David's walls. David's face instantly brightened.
"Yeah! What kind of music do you like?" He asked excitedly, almost hopping up and down. He reminded Pierre of a little kid when he did that. He liked it...
"Oh I dunno, mostly the stuff that comes on the radio. It's all I've ever really heard, you know?" Pierre said nodding to himself. And it was true. It's not that he necesarily found the music on the radio exceptionally good, music just wasn't his thing like it was David's, or like hockey was Seb and Jeff's. He never really spent a lot of time looking into new kinds of music.
David's face twisted into a kind of horror that Pierre couldn't tell between real or playful.
But David's next words helped him realize it was kind of a mix of both.
"YOU'VE BEEN MUSICALLY DEPRIVED!" He practically yelled the words at Pierre but it wasn't hard to tell he was excited more than he was angry.
Pierre laughed in amusement and confusion as David jumped up and moved to his desk, digging through a drawer until he found what he was looking for.
"You have to take this home and listen to it!" He said excitedly as he sat back down, facing Pierre. Pierre took the CD case from David, and looked at it. The front was blank. Must be homemade...
He opened his mouth to say something before David beat him to it.
"Will you come over tomorrow and tell me what you think?!" He asked excitedly. A wide smile crossed Pierre's face... not only was David officially the cutest thing in the whole world... but he'd invited Pierre to come over again.
Pierre laughed at how excited David was, the apropriate output for all the emotions he was feeling at the time. "Yeah, sure." He said grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. David squeeled and threw his arms around Pierre's neck, sounding again, like a child. He definitely never thought David was this feminine...
David settled back into his chair and got serious for a minute. "You know, it's weird that we've spent so little time together, cause I already feel like I can be myself around you... and that doesn't happen for me a lot." He said looking down, embarrased. And that's when it hit him. Pierre was amazed he hadn't seen it before.
It was possible that nobody knew... not even David... but Pierre could tell.
David was as gay as the rainbow.
Pierre smiled uncontrollably at this new discovery, and continued his conversation with David as if he'd never figured it out at all. After awhile, they were talking about everything from friends, to school, to music, to sports, to anything else that came up. And it was safe to say... David and Pierre were friends.
Pierre checked his watch. Ten minutes past midnight. He could hear that their parents and friends had moved inside downstairs and was glad his parents were getting along with Mr. and Mrs. Desrosiers. Pierre let that thought drift off as he looked around the room, fiddled with the CD in his hands, unsure of what to do...
David had fallen asleep only a few minutes ago. Not that he blamed him, for he was having trouble staying awake himself... and Da... Davi...
Pierre really was tired.
I'll just shut my eyes for a minute...
Pierre pushed himself down so he was lying across two bean bag chairs and closed his eyes...
Then opened them again to the morning light. His eyes popped open and he checked his watch. 11 AM.
How could he have fallen asleep?! David would think he was creepy! He'd overstayed his welcome! He'd- wait... why did his breathing feel so heavy? Pierre didn't know why, but he was almost afraid to find out as he slowly tilted his head down to see wha-
TO SEE DAVID LYING ACROSS HIS CHEST SLEEPING, ONE ARM WRAPPED AROUND HIM.
Pierre's hear jumped into a frenzy! He... was... sleeping... with David! He was cuddling with David!
Pierre wanted nothing more but to jump up and scream from the rooftops. Suddenly he weighed two pounds and had a perfect life! Nothing mattered in the world. It most likely happened by accident in their sleep... but it didn't matter. He'd dreamt of waking up next to this boy for two years. And even if this was the first and only time it would happen... he'd finally gotten the chance to experience it.
Pierre allowed his smile to spread itself until he could swear it was touching his ear... and as the excitement was enveloping him, David's eyes fluttered open...
Pierre's eyes widened and his breathing became more shallow... then he remembered David was lying on him.
He was innocent here. A small smile crossed David's lips at the morning light, then Pierre watched his features closely as he came to the realization he was lying on somebody.
Pierre waited patiently for David to wake up... when David exploded.
He jumped off of Pierre and backed up, looking around defenselessly and Pierre just became confused.
"B-b-b-but... no I.. I- I'm not... I'm not... g... I'm... I'M NOT GAY!" David stuttered, tears starting to flow from his eyes.
Pierre stood up, but kept his distance, confused, and instantly heartbroken and scared.
"David nobody said you were! You just rolled over in your sleep!" Pierre tried to rationalize with him, and a look came over David's features. Pierre took a deep breath as they both tried to calm and make sense of the situation. David slowly nodded and made his way to the couch, curling up in a ball, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Pierre stayed standing and David looked up at him with teary, apoligetic eyes.
"I'm sorry Pierre. You're not gay either, I know that... I just... I don't know what just came over me." David said, curling even further into himself. Pierre was right. There was no doubt in his mind now that David Desrosiers was gay.
"David..." Pierre started, stepping closer to the couch. He took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't crossing a line, but willing to take the risk. "You are gay David, aren't you?" He asked solemnly.
David's head slowly raised and the helpless look on his face as the tears started to flow gave Pierre his answer.
Pierre moved to the couch, wrapping his arms around David, who instantly took comfort in Pierre. Pierre wanted nothing more than to look David in the eye, and kiss him. But he knew he couldn't. David wasn't ready, not even near ready, and right now Pierre just had to be there for him as a friend.
And he would do just that. He would wait for David forever...
Or at least until his cell phone beeped with a text from his mom asking him to come home.
David wiped his tears and nodded his head toward the door. Pierre didn't want to go and it broke his heart to leave David like this. But he knew he had to...
"I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised, pleading forgiveness with his eyes. David just smiled weakly and nodded, and Pierre left without another word.
When he walked in the door, he felt aweful. He didn't know why he'd felt so guilty for leaving David, but he did. Not that he had a choice...
"PIERRE CHARLES BOUVIER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Demanded an invincible voice, as his mother stormed around the corner into view.
"I stayed over at David's...?" Pierre asked, honestly confused about her anger. She knew where he was, why was she so angry?
He looked up at her to see her eyes nearly popping out of her head.
Oh... that's why...
Pierre sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.
"Mom, nothing happened..." He said honestly, looking at her like she was being ridiculous... which she was...
Pierre could see her searching angrily for the words inside her head and it was all he could do not to laugh, picturing smoke coming out of her ears, her face turning red, and her shoulders slumped like some cartoon. But he held it in long enough for her to realize she had no real defense against him, and sent him to his room where he was told Jeff was waiting.
Oh god... what would he tell Jeff?
'Oh hey, yeah my night went okay I guess. I slept with David and found out he was secretely gay. But besides that, pretty uneventful.' No, he couldn't say that for the obvious fact that it could be very misinterperated. But then what would he say?
He took a deep breath as he opened the door and saw Jeff jump off of his bed as he entered and closed the door behind him.
"DUDE what the hell?! Where have you been?!" He asked, not angrily, but curiously. After all, Pierre was supposed to call him last night when he got home from David's...
"Um... David's..." He explained nervously, looking Jeff in the eye, seeing excitement cross his features.
"Dude... did you...?" Jeff turned his head, eyes locked on Pierre, grinning like an idiot and Pierre knew exactly what he was asking.
Pierre wanted to sigh but instead it came out as a laugh. He couldn't help it.
"No man. I just met him. Or, at least just started talking to him... nah we just slept." He said. Jeff looked disappointed but at the same time was eyeing Pierre closely.
"What else...?" He asked slowly still eyeing Pierre. Pierre thought about it for a minute... David obviously didn't want this getting out. He'd started crying when he said it out loud...
But it was just Jeff. And Jeff wouldn't tell anybody. And if he ever did get the urge to, the most he'd ever do is tell Sebastien who could keep a secret better than anyone Pierre had ever known.
This time Pierre really did sigh... "He's gay." He said, and he really couldn't help but let the smile break out across his face as he said the words. David was gay... he liked boys... and maybe someday, he could like Pierre...
"NICE" Jeff said enthusiastically bounding over and giving Pierre a hard pat on the back. Pierre laughed and nodded and made his way over to sit on his bed, where Jeff joined him.
"So... are you gonna ask him out?" Jeff said smiling, elbowing Pierre in the arm. Pierre smiled too and rolled his eyes.
"Nah, he's not ready for that yet. And realistically, if he were, we're so different. He would never like me..." Pierre said, trying to get the words out without changing the whole mood of the conversation. But it was true. As much as he liked to believe David could someday fall in love with him, they had practically nothing in common... he wasn't the kind of guy David would be into.
Jeff opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again, rethinking his words.
"What's that?" He asked curiously changing the subject. Pierre looked down, totally forgetting.
"Oh yeah... it's a CD. David leant it to me, told me listen to it." Pierre said trying not to let the loving smile cross his features. And failing miserably.
He looked back up at Jeff, who's eyebrows were raised. He took notice of Pierre's smile at the CD. "Dude, you're in deep with this kid, eh?" He asked, his voice sounding both happy, and concerned for his friend. Pierre looked down at his lap as he let the words register. Jeff was right... he'd never felt like this about anybody before.
"Yeah man... I am..." He told him honestly, not meeting his eyes for even a second.
"Well hey, let's listen to this CD then!" Jeff said loudly, jumping off the bed. He was always good at setting lighter tones. It was a Jeff thing.
Pierre laughed and handed him just the disc, flipping over the case to see a small, perfect, beautiful scrawl has listed the tracks on the back.
The first track, a song called wonderwall, started playing... it was actually really great. Better than any of the music he listened to.
Then as he listened to the lyrics more, he thought of David...
"Maybe... you're gonna be the one that saves me...
And after all... you're my wonderwall..."
Could he? Could Pierre save David?
After all, it was pretty obvious that David wasn't happy living a lie...
Pierre took a deep breath and let the next track start. He and Jeff sat in practical silence through the CD as Pierre let every word and every melody sink deep into his skin...
The music was great. Honestly, he felt shallow for listening to all the crap on the radio about drinking and fucking chicks.
That wasn't music... this was...
No wonder David liked it so much.
Among Pierre's favourite tracks were listed as "Therapy" By a band called All Time Low, "Hold On" By someone named Good Charlotte, and on a lighter note, a song called "Remind Yourself" by a guy called Tyler Kyte.
David's music was just as beautiful as he was...
Jeff smiled at Pierre, taking note of his friend's unspoken thoughts.
"Okay I'm leaving. And you're going to David's..." Jeff said, and without another word, he was up, and out the door. Pierre smiled to himself and took a deep breath. Yes. He was. He would shower and change, and then go back to David's.
Excitement enveloped him as he anticipated seeing the boy again...
The sweet, perfect, beautiful, gay, boy...